I haven't updated in so long. Sorry!
No, I haven't had the baby. I think I'm going to put that on my voice mail...
"This is Mary, no I haven't had the baby, yes I can't believe I'm still pregnant either, no I don't know when it's going to happen, yes I'll be sure to call you."
On Wednesday the baby failed the bpp and then the subsequent nst. Damn. It didn't fail by a lot, but it failed nonetheless. They are waiting to see how things look tomorrow. My feet have started to swell and I think I gained about 323 lbs this week. Seriously, everyone keeps telling me how much bigger I look.
Two nights ago I thought I was going into labor. I had really bad contractions. REAL bad. So bad that now I'm even more afraid of labor because, obviously, I wasn't really in labor. I was laying on the couch and I lifted my shirt so Scott could see what my belly looked like when it would contract. His response was....
"Oh My GAWD! It's like a soccer ball is coming out of the right side of your stomach! It's huge! That is CRAZY! Wow! I CAN'T believe it!"
Yay.
And this was just the trial run. I wonder how the real thing will be....?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Anytime Now...
I'm officially 1 cm dilated.
And my doctor decided to stop my P17 injections today. That surprised me. It relaxes my uterus so I don't have contractions that cause preterm labor. Since I have preeclampsia and the only cure for that is delivery they are just going to 'let me go' and not try to stop labor anymore.
I guess I'm on my way.
Basically, I could go into labor tomorrow or it could be weeks. I'm gunning for next week. I don't know how my uterus is going to react off the medication though. It might laugh in my face and I could have the baby immediately.
Have I mentioned that I'm scared?
I'm still not sure how the birth is going to go. We don't have an exact plan in place. No one is sure just how things will progress since I only have half of a uterus and the baby is living only on my right side. It's kind of on an angle. They also told me today that my cervix is on an angle. Wtf?! I would have thought that this would have come up in the past...?
I think we are going to try to have the baby vaginally, but not for that long. I'm not going to be in labor for 24 hours and then have them decide that it 'just won't work' and tell me that the baby is stressed out. I'd rather just have a c-section and know that the baby is alive and well. I'm not one of those people that is concerned about the birth experience and really want a vaginal birth. After everything we have gone through for the last two years to get to this point I just want the baby out, and alive. So, I'll try to have it normally but if things don't progress properly I'll jump ship fairly quickly.
Have I mentioned that I'm nervous?
And my doctor decided to stop my P17 injections today. That surprised me. It relaxes my uterus so I don't have contractions that cause preterm labor. Since I have preeclampsia and the only cure for that is delivery they are just going to 'let me go' and not try to stop labor anymore.
I guess I'm on my way.
Basically, I could go into labor tomorrow or it could be weeks. I'm gunning for next week. I don't know how my uterus is going to react off the medication though. It might laugh in my face and I could have the baby immediately.
Have I mentioned that I'm scared?
I'm still not sure how the birth is going to go. We don't have an exact plan in place. No one is sure just how things will progress since I only have half of a uterus and the baby is living only on my right side. It's kind of on an angle. They also told me today that my cervix is on an angle. Wtf?! I would have thought that this would have come up in the past...?
I think we are going to try to have the baby vaginally, but not for that long. I'm not going to be in labor for 24 hours and then have them decide that it 'just won't work' and tell me that the baby is stressed out. I'd rather just have a c-section and know that the baby is alive and well. I'm not one of those people that is concerned about the birth experience and really want a vaginal birth. After everything we have gone through for the last two years to get to this point I just want the baby out, and alive. So, I'll try to have it normally but if things don't progress properly I'll jump ship fairly quickly.
Have I mentioned that I'm nervous?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Toxemia
I keep coming up with all kinds of things that I could post about...and then I don't. I sit back down, eat some cake, take a nap, clean things. Rinse and Repeat. That is my life these days. Everything is ready for baby. Nursery is ready. Baby clothes are washed (only twice, Linda!). House is clean. Even my bag is mostly packed and what is not packed is written on a piece of paper that is sitting in the suitcase. But I don't feel ready. Maybe you never feel ready.
Today I was told I have preeclampsia. I officially have almost all pregnancy related disorders that a girl can get. I'm a high achiever. They said that with toxemia things can change rapidly so to be prepared (check) and to try not to worry (check, check) and to watch to see if I get a headache or blurry vision before I go back on Monday (now I have a f-ing headache, thanks for giving me ideas). I'm sad about the new diagnosis, but really happy that we have made it to 33 weeks. I just wish I knew if I had a couple of days left or a couple of weeks. I like to be prepared and that is simply not going to happen here.
My baby has turned into a pretzel. There is absolutely no room left in my half uterus. At my last ultrasound they tried to get a picture of his (?) face and all you could see was one nostril. The rest of pretzel baby's face was covered with limbs and hands and feet. The ultrasound tech was laughing at how squished he is. Poor kid.
As I laid in my jammies today eating flour less chocolate cake on the couch (yes, straight out of the box, I'm not ashamed) trying to decide between taking another nap or watching the 4th Lost dvd of season five...I realized that this is all about to change. S.O.O.N.
Today I was told I have preeclampsia. I officially have almost all pregnancy related disorders that a girl can get. I'm a high achiever. They said that with toxemia things can change rapidly so to be prepared (check) and to try not to worry (check, check) and to watch to see if I get a headache or blurry vision before I go back on Monday (now I have a f-ing headache, thanks for giving me ideas). I'm sad about the new diagnosis, but really happy that we have made it to 33 weeks. I just wish I knew if I had a couple of days left or a couple of weeks. I like to be prepared and that is simply not going to happen here.
My baby has turned into a pretzel. There is absolutely no room left in my half uterus. At my last ultrasound they tried to get a picture of his (?) face and all you could see was one nostril. The rest of pretzel baby's face was covered with limbs and hands and feet. The ultrasound tech was laughing at how squished he is. Poor kid.
As I laid in my jammies today eating flour less chocolate cake on the couch (yes, straight out of the box, I'm not ashamed) trying to decide between taking another nap or watching the 4th Lost dvd of season five...I realized that this is all about to change. S.O.O.N.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Gender Revealed
This was the conversation during my ultrasound last Monday:
Me: "We will be totally surprised if the baby comes out and it's a girl."
(I said this only because the baby's face looks like a boy to us)
Tech: "Oh, don't worry, that won't happen...here I can look again...oh, you don't want to know do you....?"
(Well, I didn't.....but that sounds like I'm having a boy to me.)
Keep in mind that this is the same woman that has scanned me every week for over four months so she certainly knows what the baby is.
Do you think it's safe to start buying blue, lol?
Me: "We will be totally surprised if the baby comes out and it's a girl."
(I said this only because the baby's face looks like a boy to us)
Tech: "Oh, don't worry, that won't happen...here I can look again...oh, you don't want to know do you....?"
(Well, I didn't.....but that sounds like I'm having a boy to me.)
Keep in mind that this is the same woman that has scanned me every week for over four months so she certainly knows what the baby is.
Do you think it's safe to start buying blue, lol?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Whirlwind
Looks like we are on our way. My cervix went from 3.0 to 2.4 and today it was about 1.8!
When the tech first inserted the vag cam she said "I don't see any cervix, I just see a baby's head."
Today I am 31w3d and the baby weighed 4lbs.
They aren't going to do anymore cervical lengths by ultrasound since its pretty much gone at this point. From now on I'll have manual exams to see how far I've dilated. Looks like we are going to have a December baby.
I'll have the P17 shots until December 15th and then we will stop those as well and just let the contractions do their job.
So, what does a woman do when she finds out she is going to have a preemie baby in the near future? She shops and cleans, of course! I got the last few items that I needed (nursing clothes, bras, etc) and then went home and tried to nap. That didn't work so I got up and started cleaning the house like a mad woman. The second floor is perfect and the first floor will get tackled tomorrow. I'm washing everything in sight and dusting like crazy.
Because, you know, the baby is going to be very concerned with how clean the house is.
I'm about to have a baby and I'm still not totally convinced that there is really one in my belly.
When the tech first inserted the vag cam she said "I don't see any cervix, I just see a baby's head."
Today I am 31w3d and the baby weighed 4lbs.
They aren't going to do anymore cervical lengths by ultrasound since its pretty much gone at this point. From now on I'll have manual exams to see how far I've dilated. Looks like we are going to have a December baby.
I'll have the P17 shots until December 15th and then we will stop those as well and just let the contractions do their job.
So, what does a woman do when she finds out she is going to have a preemie baby in the near future? She shops and cleans, of course! I got the last few items that I needed (nursing clothes, bras, etc) and then went home and tried to nap. That didn't work so I got up and started cleaning the house like a mad woman. The second floor is perfect and the first floor will get tackled tomorrow. I'm washing everything in sight and dusting like crazy.
Because, you know, the baby is going to be very concerned with how clean the house is.
I'm about to have a baby and I'm still not totally convinced that there is really one in my belly.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Goodbye Cervix
In the last week my cervix went from 3.0 to 2.4. Holy shit. I kind of knew that something was going on because I've had painful uterus pains and cramps in my back all week. Today I am 30w3d and while I recognize that it is fantastic that I've made it this far...it's still too early to have the baby. In my heart I know it won't be that much longer.
Scott and I both think we will make it another three weeks or so. I'm feeling nervous.
Scott and I both think we will make it another three weeks or so. I'm feeling nervous.
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